Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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