i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize