I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
