new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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