My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My liver just had a heart attack.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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