just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
