Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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