I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
