I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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