I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
