i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
