Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
