Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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