I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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