I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
