just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
