didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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