i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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