The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
