dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
