dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
