Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
