Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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