Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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