She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My pussy is not your playground.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
