If i come over, it means nothing
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize