i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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