Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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