if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Text me some of your sweat
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
