Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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