Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
