oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Let the clothes fall where they may.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
