I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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