First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
