I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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