Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize