dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
