its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
