I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
