First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
how does that bad decision feel?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
