I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Randomize
