Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
