...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
