just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
