So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
