So drunk its hurt
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize