I got chris browned last night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Let's get the cat blown out
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
