apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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