i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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