There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
