i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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