I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
