Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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