I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
