It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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