she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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