I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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