He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
