you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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