Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
