So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
