Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
