YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
