I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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