Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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