Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
