I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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