White coat. Heels.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
