it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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