I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
