Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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