My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
